“Into your hands I commit my
spirit; you will redeem me, O Lord, faithful God.” - Psalm 31:5
Each of
us has a cross to carry. There is no need to make one or look for one. Living
every moment of our life and fully embracing our humanity inevitably brings us
to our crosses. My older brother and I often joke that following Jesus is easy,
if only we can choose the cross – the suffering – we want. Yet, the cross is
precisely the manner of suffering that we do not prefer. Jesus’ call to
discipleship echoes: “If any want to become my followers, let them deny
themselves and take up their cross and follow me.”
Maybe we
can't study; maybe we have been laid-off; maybe we are handicapped; maybe we
suffer from depression, from poor self-image, from a serious disease; maybe we
experience conflict in our families; maybe we are victims of violence or abuse.
We didn't choose any of it, yet these things are our crosses. We can ignore
them, reject them, refuse them or hate them. But we can also embrace these
sufferings, and allow them to help us be united with Jesus on the cross. Even
in darkness that suffering often brings, we can risk that God’s wisdom and love
can transform our crosses into greater life.
Both my
cousin and maternal grandmother suffered greatly at the end of their lives.
Although they died two decades apart, they taught me a similar lesson. In their
own ways, they struggled yet embraced their crosses. Despite my ability to accept
her impending passing, my grandmother had come to peaceful acceptance of her
death. She shared with me that Jesus was with her, that she was sharing his
suffering. That he was sharing hers. And in much of her life, this was her
experience, her crucible of faith – Jesus’ way of drawing her close to him.
When suggested by her pastor to unite her suffering to Jesus’ and offer them to
help children in hospital nearby, my young cousin Thy understood fully and said
“yes”. She allowed her husband, families and relatives, and so many friends and
hospital staff to be with her in her last moments. We sang the Prayer of St
Francis in tears as she gave up her spirit. Like our grandmother, she embodied
Jesus’ stance before the cross; she taught us how to die with grace. While the
doctors and our earnest prayer could not save her, our presence may have eased
her suffering and accompanied her home to God.
Like
Jesus, we cannot choose our cross. Yet, embracing our cross while struggling to
entrust ourselves to God can make room for greater life and meaning.
Help us Lord Jesus, to trust that
by your holy cross you have redeemed the world! Help us to embrace you though
our crosses these days.
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