“If a man has a hundred sheep and one of them goes
astray, will he not leave the ninety-nine in the hills and go in search of the
stray? And if he finds it, amen, I say to you, he rejoices more over it than
over the ninety-nine that did not stray. In just the same way, it is not the
will of your heavenly Father that one of these little ones be lost.” Mt.
18:12-14
The question
is not “How am I to find God?” but “How am I to let myself be found by him?”
The question is not “How am I to know God?” but “How am I to let myself be
known by God?” And, finally, the question is not “How am I to love God?” but “How
am I to let myself be loved by God?” God is looking into the distance for me,
trying to find me, and longing to bring me home. God is the shepherd who goes
looking for his lost sheep.
It might
sound strange, but God wants to find me as much as, if not more than, I want to
find God. Yes, God needs me as much as I need God. God is not the patriarch who
stays home; does not move; and expects his children to come to him, apologize
for their aberrant behavior, beg for forgiveness, and promise to do better. To
the contrary, he leaves the house, ignoring his dignity by running toward them,
pays no heed to apologies and promises of change, and brings them to the table
richly prepared for them.
I am
beginning now to see how radically the character of spiritual journey will
change when I no longer think of God as hiding out and making it as difficult
as possible for me to find him, but instead as the one who is looking for me
while I am doing the hiding.
Can I accept that I am worth looking for? Do I
believe that there is a real desire in God to simply be with me?
Adapted from Henri Nouwen
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