“By what authority are you doing
these things?
And who gave you this authority?
Jesus said to them in reply,
“I shall ask you one question, and
if you answer it for me,
then I shall tell you by what
authority I do these things.” – Mk. 11:28-29
The chief priests and elders in today’s
Gospel don’t
understand Jesus. They want to test him, trap him really, unable to break free
of their limited perceptions of who the Messiah can be. They are unwilling to
move beyond their understanding and trust that a new paradigm stands literally
right before them.
In light of the recent events in
Paris, Baghdad, Beirut, San Bernardino, and a recent shift in my own life, I
have found myself questioning God almost just the same. They are more along the
lines of “Jesus, how much longer?”, “What will Advent really bring in the midst
of all this?”, “What do we do now?” - underscoring the temptation to dismiss
Him instead of meeting in deeper trust. Then the question arises, what is
getting in the way? I discover fears that still remain: fear of judgment, fear
of failure, fear of a lack of worthiness, fear of not being accepted; a
constant self-criticism; other deep-seated patterns of worry. What is common
among them all? A focus on my own perceived limitations versus God’s abounding
patience and mercy, as well as a lack of deeper compassion toward others.
Then the movement from
understanding to trust is the clear invitation, and one that has become more
comfortable; but how to do this consistently? The response that remains is
simply to take another step forward, one graced moment at a time. To say as the
psalmist does today, “I see him, though not now; I behold him, though not near”
- and as we celebrate St. John of the Cross today as well, “If a man wishes to be sure of the
road he’s traveling on, then he must close his eyes and travel in the dark.”
That through the darkness comes the brightest Light, bringing forth a hope that
transforms our deepest fears into waiting dreams.
How am I being invited to
understand less, and trust more? What is getting in the way?
Lord, help me to be led more
deeply into your tender love and mercy today.
Quyen Ngo
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