"Remember the marvels the Lord has
done." – Ps. 105:5
Today’s readings invite
us to remember and ponder deeply the wonders the Lord has done through our
ancestors and in our own lives. We are encouraged to love, trust, and
wait patiently for the "marvels" of the Lord to unfold, particularly
in times of anguish, loneliness, and hopelessness.
While contemplating on these readings, memories of painful
experiences crept up. Revisiting these moments helps me to see clearly
how God has transformed these challenging times into joy, love, and
life.
My husband is a tennis fanatic. He eats, sleeps, and dreams with
and about tennis. When it comes to this sport, everything else becomes
insignificant.
I remember the many nights I had prepared dinner then waited and
listened for the rattling sound of his keys. Some nights the wait would
last from sundown to sunrise. I called and texted him but he didn't
respond. My mind began formulating unfortunate scenarios: what if he was
in a car accident? what if he was attacked or murdered, the endless
"what if's" tormented my thoughts night after night. I
communicated my anger, frustrations, and worries with him and asked him to
please call if he was not going to be home at an expected time. Despite
his promises, he continued to come home late without calling.
As days passed, the situation worsened. I thirst for an
emotional, mental, and physical connection with the man I love but I was left
with a sense of abandonment, invisibility, and belittlement. I prayed to
God to please lift this agony from me but I was weighed down by an
indescribable painful loneliness.
In the midst of hopelessness, a desire to live and live fully
sprung unexpectedly and uncontrollably. I was invited to face deeper
issues that had imprisoned and kept me from fully living and loving most of my
life. As I worked through these issues one by one, little by little, I
become more free. Free to choose life, to choose love, and to choose
to be loved. What a joy it is to experience such freedom!
If I had given up on hope, love, and life
while in despair, would I be able to experience the freedom and joy I have
today?
I can only respond to this
question with great gratitude: My Lord has awakened life in me.
Anonymous
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